Autumn memories

[wild_dreamer]

So I found another song to add to my Autumn playlist. Green Day's When September Ends. Never said I was looking for just the happy ones, by the way. Any songs that make you think of autumn, happy or sad, angry or excited.


So I found the song on my iPod, surfing around for random music...and I'm all "ooh, Green Day" and it had this song on it. And now I can't help but remember the times gone by. That's part of why autumn is my favorite season. It holds so many happy memories for me, and some not so happy as well, but all memories. Starting with only last year, the end of September, NanDesuKan. Everything went back to normal around me, N-chan started school again, the summer was over. Ending on one huge dark note that it's taken a lot to get over, thanks to my ex, but I won't dwell on that. No more long weeks at KK's parents' as we moved from one house to another, nearly constant fun shared with her and N-chan. Con was coming, though, and it was going to be my first year there. The weekend went by in a whirl of events and people, new friends and old.
I met sadlonedragon (Draken) there, and everything was new and exciting and fabulous and I was in love and had no eyes for the world going on around me. KK and I broke up over it, because she was supposed to be my primary relationship, and I didn't understand how to balance two relationships at once. Draken had become my primary. So I went on in my little happy world, and then things started coming apart at the seams, as they are wont to do when you jump into things both feet first. Most of you already know everything that happened here, and we digress out of my autumn rant at this point.
Back another few years. Starting high school, my first year. I make friends at the drop of a hat, the autumn whirls by into winter. Still recovering from the past year of chaos, losing two people, only one of whom I would get back. My big brother is gone. All I have now are memories of the fun times we had, and I'm finally getting to the point where that's okay. Running from person to person seeking what I had lost, and finally now I'm mostly standing on my own. Vowing not to make the same mistakes all over again. Another year, another lesson learned.
I want to also apologize in a general sense to those of you who were serving as substitutes, those of you I was running to. eccentric_alex, I love you dearly, and I know I've apologized before. I'm also sorry I've been so hard to get ahold of lately. KK, you know I love you too, and I apologize not only for using you to my own ends years ago, but also for being a dick sometimes. I'm trying to be better. brazenslut, I'm sorry you were too crazy for me, and I apologize for not dumping you sooner and sparing us both a lot more pain. sadlonedragon, I'm sorry I tried to make you into something you could never be, tried to replace my past with you. I hope you can forgive me and move on to someone better for you. (Alcohol is not better for you.) fmtenpo You've been warned. Also, sorry if I'm a brat sometimes. Like I told KK, I'm working on it. Communication is my friend.

Anyways, I think that's really enough for one day.... I've run through some different music while I was writing, from Guster to BNL, and I'm feeling better now.