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Friday, November 13th, 2015 09:59 pm
The meds seem to be working, finally. I'm still tired, but I'm doing better with personal care, and I'm much better about not being a crazy and emotionally unpredictable wreck.

It's weird having regular emotions. I get sad, disappointed, upset, angry... but not wildly and irrationally so.

Exhaustion still happens; the depression and anxiety are only a part of the chronic illness. And when I'm exhausted, the emotions still run stronger. But it's so much better than it was.

Today, I am exhausted. Today I was tired, sleepy, all day. I slept from around midnight until almost one this afternoon, and I'm still tired. Still sleepy. It's grey and dreary out, which is likely a part of it; the oncoming cold weather is surely another part.

Today I went home after work only to gather a few necessities before going to the boyfriend's for the night.

Currently, I feel disappointed, abandoned, left behind, alone. Old insecurities resurfacing. But it's my own fault, for not communicating. "I want to come along," I didn't say. I put my shoes back on, my sweater and jacket, my hat. But I never said "I'm coming, too." "Don't leave without me." "Wait for me." So now I'm here, alone, feeling left behind. Ugh.


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