Loss pt 2

[wild_dreamer]

The hole in my life that you left behind is full of saltwater. I can’t think about the ocean without thinking about you. I can’t think about making jewelry with the shells from our trip without thinking of you. I can’t listen to…almost all of my music, without thinking about you. I can’t think about ‘vu without thinking about you. I can’t think about computers without thinking of you and the one I built you. I can hardly breathe without thinking about you. It hurts.

I wonder if you even still use that pc. I wonder if you’ll give it to her when she visits, wipe it clean and let her take it home so she has a way to be online with you. I wonder if you still have the backgrounds I made, if you look at them and think of us.

I wonder if you cried as hard as I did when you let me go.


All the things I said that day, everything I wanted… I would have understood if you had said you needed time. They were only wants, not needs. I’m used to wanting and not getting what I want. But when I needed you the most, you ran away instead. Because I needed you to stay. I needed you to understand that it was just an overflow of feelings, that it was me opening my heart because I love you, that it was just me answering the question that you asked… and that it was never meant to be immediate.

But I should have never even answered you. Because I need you in my life more than I wanted those things.