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So in an unprecedented leap of logistical improbability, I have done that which I said would not be done.
I have a boyfriend. I have been fighting the girly urge to run around in little circles going "EeeEeeEEeEeeeEEEEeeee I have a boyfriend~!" for the past couple of hours.
I know I said I was happier being single, and if it proves to be true then, well, I can break up with him just as easily. (No offense, love, if you're reading this.)
And maybe even manage to salvage a friendship out of it.
We shall see, in any case. It's long distance, and an open relationship, so it really isn't terribly different from the being single I was previously. Only now I can call him my boyfriend, and I do have some base rules. Which were, well, pretty much the same as before. Huh.
I have also, in the conversation following the awkward asking-out bit (which I, once again, was the facilitator of...) discovered something I hadn't quite realized before.
The thing that really made my previous relationships not work, particularly in the Poly sense, was this:
There was no real base in trust.
KK was the only one that even worked out in any capacity, and only until my stupidity kicked in. Luckily, we are still content to be friends, which I can live with. I can only hope that if things don't work out in this relationship that we can follow the same footsteps, and keep a solid friendship despite the breakup.
It really struck me, though, when I asked him how he felt about certain things, and his answer was "Well, I trust your judgement." It really made me smile. With trust involved, and a lot of it, an open long-distance relationship has the capacity to work.
Mind, I'm also not expecting this to be my be-all and end-all thing, I fully expect it to be nothing more than a friendship in the end, but that's alright with me. I am not going to build castles in the sky that I cannot ever hope to achieve. (Not that anyone but me knows about, anyways. ^_~ And only for the sake of having dreams.) Everything about this says that it will be good while it lasts, but it may not last forever.
I feel so giddy right now.
I have a boyfriend. I have been fighting the girly urge to run around in little circles going "EeeEeeEEeEeeeEEEEeeee I have a boyfriend~!" for the past couple of hours.
I know I said I was happier being single, and if it proves to be true then, well, I can break up with him just as easily. (No offense, love, if you're reading this.)
And maybe even manage to salvage a friendship out of it.
We shall see, in any case. It's long distance, and an open relationship, so it really isn't terribly different from the being single I was previously. Only now I can call him my boyfriend, and I do have some base rules. Which were, well, pretty much the same as before. Huh.
I have also, in the conversation following the awkward asking-out bit (which I, once again, was the facilitator of...) discovered something I hadn't quite realized before.
The thing that really made my previous relationships not work, particularly in the Poly sense, was this:
There was no real base in trust.
KK was the only one that even worked out in any capacity, and only until my stupidity kicked in. Luckily, we are still content to be friends, which I can live with. I can only hope that if things don't work out in this relationship that we can follow the same footsteps, and keep a solid friendship despite the breakup.
It really struck me, though, when I asked him how he felt about certain things, and his answer was "Well, I trust your judgement." It really made me smile. With trust involved, and a lot of it, an open long-distance relationship has the capacity to work.
Mind, I'm also not expecting this to be my be-all and end-all thing, I fully expect it to be nothing more than a friendship in the end, but that's alright with me. I am not going to build castles in the sky that I cannot ever hope to achieve. (Not that anyone but me knows about, anyways. ^_~ And only for the sake of having dreams.) Everything about this says that it will be good while it lasts, but it may not last forever.
I feel so giddy right now.
no subject
And as for your first relationship based in trust... Trust ME on this one. It's a revelation. I hope you'll share your thoughts on things as the relationship wears on...
I was at Cafe Netherworld the other night and there was a tall, thin (though not as thin as you) girl with straight brown hair wearing kitty ears. It almost made me cry. I miss you...
no subject
But in any case, yes, I will continue to share thoughts on things, particularly my own revelations. Such as: It's also nice having a relationship that's based on communication first. n.n
<3 <3 <3 <3
no subject
Seriously, good show!
When are you coming over? ;) I miss you too.
no subject
Strangely enough, some good self-discovery. The more time I spend with him, the more I learn about myself as well as about him. He's helping, in a bass-ackwards way, to make me more self-directed as well.
And as to visiting, when next we're out there I'll make plans to stop by. Tell the little ones I said hello, and I send hugs to everyone.