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Now for today's letter...
Dear Married Morons:
You, and both of your children, could use a good, sound smacking.
First off, your daughter came into my candy store and runs off with a handful of plush animals, ostensibly to show you that we have them. Okay, fine, you'll bring them back shamefully, though you hardly actually scold the child for it.
But while she has my attention, your idiot son is... stealing my M&M's. By hand. Yes, his -hand- is under the spout to catch the fast-moving flow of candied chocolates. Oh, and he's also stuffing them into his mouth as he goes along. So you, sir, come over and buy them. And then you let him have the spoils of his misbehavior? Yes, yes you do.
I shake my head and watch you leave my poor little candy shop, leaving me to clean up the scattered M&M's, all the while muttering in annoyance about your child-rearing abilities, or lack thereof.
Oh but then, and this is even better, I get to see exactly why your children have no common sense. You all settle into the ferry terminal lobby, and neither one of you adults is paying a damn bit of attention to your children! They're running around, climbing things, generally being ill-behaved. Though, I will admit, they aren't screaming at one another or fighting, only nearly running into/tripping people, clambering on chairs and benches and counters.
And then, you, dear ignorant woman, looked around as if to say "oh, where'd they go?" and as soon as you had spotted them (hanging from a nearby bench and roughhousing) you only smiled and returned to your conversation. "Oh look, there they are. Good for them."
. . . W T F?!
Can I be your nanny? I promise I'll have you and the kids both straightened out within a month. Or, if not behaving better, you will at least be out of the gene pool, and I'm certain there's room in the Sound for another four bodies.
Sincerely,
Not Amused
And... that's a wrap for the day. X_x Morons.
Dear Married Morons:
You, and both of your children, could use a good, sound smacking.
First off, your daughter came into my candy store and runs off with a handful of plush animals, ostensibly to show you that we have them. Okay, fine, you'll bring them back shamefully, though you hardly actually scold the child for it.
But while she has my attention, your idiot son is... stealing my M&M's. By hand. Yes, his -hand- is under the spout to catch the fast-moving flow of candied chocolates. Oh, and he's also stuffing them into his mouth as he goes along. So you, sir, come over and buy them. And then you let him have the spoils of his misbehavior? Yes, yes you do.
I shake my head and watch you leave my poor little candy shop, leaving me to clean up the scattered M&M's, all the while muttering in annoyance about your child-rearing abilities, or lack thereof.
Oh but then, and this is even better, I get to see exactly why your children have no common sense. You all settle into the ferry terminal lobby, and neither one of you adults is paying a damn bit of attention to your children! They're running around, climbing things, generally being ill-behaved. Though, I will admit, they aren't screaming at one another or fighting, only nearly running into/tripping people, clambering on chairs and benches and counters.
And then, you, dear ignorant woman, looked around as if to say "oh, where'd they go?" and as soon as you had spotted them (hanging from a nearby bench and roughhousing) you only smiled and returned to your conversation. "Oh look, there they are. Good for them."
. . . W T F?!
Can I be your nanny? I promise I'll have you and the kids both straightened out within a month. Or, if not behaving better, you will at least be out of the gene pool, and I'm certain there's room in the Sound for another four bodies.
Sincerely,
Not Amused
And... that's a wrap for the day. X_x Morons.
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