Best to be the Changing Water

It's been a long time since I last posted... I no longer go to RMSEL, sadly. They are all on minichallenge and internships this week and next, and then they all go away on Mexico trip.. *cry* i wanna go so badly! I miss everyone there, and I wish I could go and take Spanish class, so I don't lose it all.. it's slowly going away, because i never have cause to speak it. At this point, i remember more japanese than espanol. not only that, but it wouldd be an hour out of every day that i get to spend with my friends. it sucks. i miss them all.... i go visit occasionally, but it just isn't the same. it really sucks.

on the brighter side, i'm working on getting a job at the Whole Foods they're building down the street, and i've been doing a bit better on my schoolwork. i'm getting chubby from sitting on my ass all day every day, and that sucks. i'm in tae kwon do now, both for self defense and for exercise.. god, even my f*cking spelling is going downhill! and my language.. haha. argh...

to my friends: I love you all! i miss you all! especially J[deleted] and [name deleted]! and my N-chan, too.. i miss you all!!!!!!! i want to come back, but i can't... i swear i will come visit more often! anyways, i gtg find a job application for the store now, since i'm online, and i'll tty all laters!

Kitten

EDIT: This is the final entry (of four) from an older journal I'm deleting. I've edited typos and names. [name deleted] is (again) teh_antisecks. Say goodbye to la_gatita_loca, everyone.

I'm not even gonna bother with Espanol, too tired and happy. And stupid. God, why didn't I think?? I never come up with the good ideas until the opportunity is past! Twice now, both talking to [name deleted].. I feel so stupid!

(1st time... what I DID say.)
[name deleted]: So, when you said you were dating somebody, were you just bluffing to get me to go away?
Me: No.. I do have someone. *small shy silence*
[name deleted]: Are you sure you weren't bluffing?
Me *quiet nod* mmhmm...
(WHAT I SHOULD HAVE SAID!)
[name deleted]: So, when you said you were dating somebody, were you just bluffing to get me to go away?
Me: No, I really do have someone... And why would I want you to go away? You're really cool, and I like being around you! *blushing madly...*

(2nd time, what I DID)
[name deleted]: *walks by with (mmm) soup.*
Me: *desperately hungry...* Hey, can I have a bite of that? *hopeful look*
[name deleted]: I s'pose.
Me: *takes bite, smiles* Thank you!
(WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE!)
[name deleted]: *walks by with (mmm) soup.*
Me: *desperately hungry...* Hey, can I have a bite of that? *hopeful look*
[name deleted]: I s'pose.
Me: *takes bite, smiles* Thank you! *bounce, kiss [name deleted] on cheek, run off grinning*

I'M STUPID!!! Soy es muy tonto! MUY TONTO!
*sigh* anyways. School was good, aside from my stupid mistake. Maybe it would have been a stupid mistake to do it too, so. Maybe good I didn't. Don't know for sure what his reaction would be. I'm pretty sure it would be good, but not positive.
Anyway, gotta run.
Hasta Manana!


EDIT: This is the second of four journal entries from an old journal I'm planning to delete. I removed the name of the person, for privacy's sake. (I had used his real name.) You know him now as teh_antisecks ^_~