Best to be the Changing Water

It's curious how invisible illness changes the way you see the world.

Depression, for one; how many things has it taken?

Pain; just as many.


Today, though.

I got off work, went to my boyfriend's apartment (dubbed "Bachelor House 2.0"; if someone ever asks about the original I'll be glad to share the story), played video games, and smoked.

Last night, one of the roommates (who also happens to be another of my occasional partners) finally got around to doing a mega-clean of the breakfast bar counter in their kitchen; This morning I hugged him and thanked him, this evening I cooked up some acorn squash like sweet potato, full of butter and brown sugar and cinnamon. I cleaned up after myself.

I did a project I've been meaning to do at BH2.0 ever since the slow unfuckening of the place was started by the Pat: I cleaned out a candle jar that had burned up and turned it into a pen-cup for the errant wandering implements that lurk upon flat surfaces.

Conclusion: cleaner surroundings motivate me to keep them that way, and work in bite-size pieces on what still needs done.


Also: stepping on a piece of squash peel that's fallen on the floor hurts strangely when you have a chronic pain issue. =/

Also also: I think I'm gonna start implementing more of that "do it for your future self" mentality, because I appreciate some of the things my past self has been doing for me lately, whether intentionally or not. XD