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It's times like these I wonder if I'll ever be alright again. I know the pain has got to go away sometime, and it's usually not this bad. Someday all I'll have is a scar on my heart in the shape of her name, but right now it's still a tender injury, fighting infection.
Even in my dreams she's nothing but a fantasy, a memory twisting into my heart to make it bleed again. A twisted, beautiful memory, sharp and sweet, with the bitterest aftertaste.
I miss her like the sun and rain and wind. Her warmth, when she was true to her heart, when she smiled shyly and I knew beyond a doubt that I adored her, wanted nothing more than to make her happy. Even when she cried and screamed she was beautiful. I don't know where we got so lost.
I got so jaded, and so overwhelmed.
How can one be so jaded and so naive at the same time? To believe so strongly in everyone else, and yet never in my own self.
I still remember how it felt to wake up curled around her, protective and warm. Did I touch her cheek and smile, and tell her without words how I felt? I can't remember. It's all a blur, the words that stand out are rare in the muddle, the actions even more so.
I dreamed that I was imagining her there. Dreamed I was pretending I could hold her tight again. How twisted is that? How broken.
Even in my dreams she's nothing but a fantasy, a memory twisting into my heart to make it bleed again. A twisted, beautiful memory, sharp and sweet, with the bitterest aftertaste.
I miss her like the sun and rain and wind. Her warmth, when she was true to her heart, when she smiled shyly and I knew beyond a doubt that I adored her, wanted nothing more than to make her happy. Even when she cried and screamed she was beautiful. I don't know where we got so lost.
I got so jaded, and so overwhelmed.
How can one be so jaded and so naive at the same time? To believe so strongly in everyone else, and yet never in my own self.
I still remember how it felt to wake up curled around her, protective and warm. Did I touch her cheek and smile, and tell her without words how I felt? I can't remember. It's all a blur, the words that stand out are rare in the muddle, the actions even more so.
I dreamed that I was imagining her there. Dreamed I was pretending I could hold her tight again. How twisted is that? How broken.
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