Best to be the Changing Water

And sometimes when I dream of you
There's nothing but my love for you
A deep and hollow ache inside my heart

With my arms wrapped 'round your waist
and my heart, worn bleeding, on my sleeve
you've got me wrapped around your fingertips
just about to slip

Memories of spaces, people, places
Things that never were
Never will be, never can be
I wake to blurry memories



I had a long and convoluted dream this morning. You were there, and you were there, and you. Only a very few faces I could put names to, but all of them familiar.

There was some kind of plot against us. I had it figured out from the start, you figured it out when we were there, and I was protecting us both. You, and me, and someone else, we had to stick together. I had to protect you. And when one of the others, the protagonists of this plot, when she looked at you and said, "You? You're perfect. Except for three things," I told you not to ask. I only heard two, and they were so inane and silly that they nearly made me laugh. I've forgotten them in the light of the day.

Today, I did not cry. Today, I was okay.

Today, I took one step further on the road, and maybe one day it won't hurt so much to remember.

..Peculiar violent dreams. I blame multiple sources, as at least dream number two of two involved Buffy, Faith, Joker, Harley Quinn, some other batman-universe bad girl, a horde of goblins directed by Joker, a train/subway tunnel system thing, and my ass-kickingly awesome self. Who might have been a Slayer, or a DC hero, or heaven only know what I was.

Took a bus to the terminal to meet Buffy and Faith, perhaps with some notion of showing them up by defeating Joker and his goblin hordes before they even made it to the Slayers. Realised I was on the bus with all the goblins, right about as we reached the destination, at which point I began to unleash a can of whup-ass on folk. I slashed the throat of Joker's blonde friend (Harley? Faces were blurred in the fight, and I can't quite recall) and he got all "GRAAAR NOBODY KILLS MY HARLEY" (guess it was)and then I launched off of something and stabbed him through the throat as well. The poor, now stunned-still, girl at his side I thought was actually Harl, but I'm still unclear, however I smiled at her and whispered that because I'd always loved her, she'd die a cleaner death. Which somehow involved a clean run of the blade across (through, really, I suppose..) her throat after I'd brushed a kiss over her lips.

WHY THE THROATS, GAIS? Morbid dreams, much?

Anyway, after smooching and slashing miss painted-lips (Still unsure, perhaps there were two Harleys? But this one had red hair I think, and the other was platinum blonde. Which Harl is not, exactly. Buh?) I kicked and slashed down a few goblins, and the rest disbursed rapidly in the face of my wrath, and I went to see Buffy and Faith. The Slayers were, get this, sitting around eating tasty little tartlette-pie things! Like, I dunno, some peculiar combination of fruit tart and berry shortcake. All like nothing was happening. And they were like "oh hey, wassup? Want some noms?" or Faith was anyway, and Buffy just gave me this look like "oh hai lol whut u doin there? Somethin happen?" and I was like "geez gais, was only me stabbin' Joker in the throat and killin his minions and shits for you." And they were like "oh hey, you stabbed him? So he's done nao?" and I was like "Yes, only really it's Joker so he'll be back alive later, I dunno how but he will" and then I woke up.


WHUT. SRS WHUT.

I'm gonna go take a shower, now that I've written it all out and had a cup of tea.


ETA: No, no, wait. I'd already killed Blonde (Harley?) earlier on, she was dead and for some reason known only to Joker he was hauling her around with him. And there was some other chick that I took out, I think. Or maybe it was her again? It's all blurry dream-memory. T.T I can't remember.

Start with some background info: I left my ipod in my boyfriend's car last night. Thus, I had to put on the radio to sleep to when I went to bed.

When I woke up this morning, completely free of any alarms (half an hour at least before mine was supposed to go off), it was to Asia's Heat of the Moment.

I stared blankly at the ceiling for a long moment, figured out what day it was (Monday, not Tuesday) and wondered where in hell Dean was, to annoy me into actually getting out of bed.

No Dean, not Tuesday, and oh yeah: I'm not Sam Winchester. So I rolled over and fitfully napped until my alarm did go off, before getting up.

Let us hope this isn't some sort of sign.

But now that I've informed the internet of my bizarre (vaguely amusing, vaguely worrisome) happenings this morning, I need to go take a nice, long, hot shower and get dressed for my job interview. Wish me luck on this one, everybody.

I'll try to update again soon, sorry for the lack of posts lately.