Best to be the Changing Water

A series of random things I wanted to say, some related to Burning Man, some not.

And some reiterating the same thing I have said on Twitter and FB already this morning, which begins with: Fucking ow, my whole body hurts. Muscles I didn't know existed hurt. When I breathed my tea this morning, coughing made me think I was gonna pull something important and then die, it hurt so bad. I love my self-defense class. And I am so fucking out of shape it isn't funny, BUT I AM GLAD THIS IS ALL AFTER MY BURNING MAN TRIP AND NOT BEFORE.

Before I left, I was coming off a year of couch-sitting. Very different from baby-sitting, as you actually do sit on the couch for it, and you definitely do not sit on the babies. Before I left, I was making faces at myself in the mirror nearly every morning, thinking "geez, this last year has been too happy. I'm getting complacent, and a little chunky in the midsection, there." Everyone else says "you look good! Stop fussing," but I don't feel comfortable in my body, and that is, of course, the most important thing. I feel heavy, I feel weighted down, I feel mildly unhappy with myself.

By the time I get back, I'm feeling amazing. Between all the walking and dancing I did and what they call the 'Desert Diet', I have probably lost most of the ten pounds I put on in the last year, and I'm feeling GREAT. Looking good, too, happy about it. Checking myself out in mirrors and saying "yeah, I'm looking amazing again. ;D" and the like.

Now, you're going to be wondering. ( What is the 'Desert Diet'? )

So with the walking across a city that was two or three miles across and ten or more miles in diameter, all of the dancing, the strange eating habits, and the returning to Colorado to a similarly active event (I didn't spend much time sitting at NDK, I never do), I was in much better shape than before I left. Not to mention that I went hiking with my friend Rudy while I was in Portland on my way home. LOTS OF EXERCISE.

I'm pretty sure this is the only reason I didn't DIE HORRIBLY during my self-defense class, and only had one moment where I had to slow myself down and remind myself to breathe slow and deep. But I made it through class, had a fabulous time, and probably didn't walk it out as much as I should have, didn't cool down well enough. Hence, being stiff and sore now.

You know what they say. The best thing for sore muscles is whatever made them sore in the first place. And a hot bath. ;)

I think that was actually it for right now. Oh, and my ceramics instructor is totally the Bob Ross of pottery. I kept expecting him to start talking about the 'happy little pottery' or something while he was showing us how to work the wheel yesterday. XD

That was all. ♥

So many things. Apparently LoudTwitter isn't updating my twitters to my journal (AGAIN) so if you want to keep up with me on this trip, you might want to actually go and check out my Twitter page: http://twitter.com/aWildDreamer

In the meanwhile, some updates!

Turns out my friend from school will not be joining me after all. She got offered a gig at Bumbershoot, which is really big and happens to be the same week as Burning Man. Oh well. She also won't be contributing the money she promised me towards gas and the hotel room for NDK, despite telling me that she'd be able to give me that money even if she wasn't going, to make it as easy as possible on me. Nice attempt at compromise, too bad she failed to follow through on it. No more serious plans with her until she does some growing up (she is young, there's a certain amount of leniency I will grant her) and proves to me that she can actually follow through on plans and her word.

Gear is packed up! Food is packed up! Clothing is.... Not packed up! Here I am, planning to leave tomorrow afternoon, and I'm going off half-cocked. WHEE.

I still have so much to do today. So many, many things to do before I can go anywhere. I registered for classes yesterday, have to run down and pay my tuition today sometime (probably when I go to pick up @Binjali from the ferry terminal). I have to finish my grey water evaporation frame and get it strapped down to my car. I have to make sure all my gear is organized and I have room for it all in my car and silly things like that. (I'll have room, just need to play Tetris to get everything comfortable.) I have to take a bunch of blankets to the laundromat, for reasons which I will get to momentarily. I have to wash out the 5-gallon water cooler from the Future In-laws, because it was moldy inside.

And on top of all this to-do? The cats have fleas. I spent all day yesterday running laundry, washing bedding, vacuuming floors, washing cats, and applying medicine. This morning? Little bastards are back, medicine or no medicine. I'm considering this holistic garlic treatment idea, if I can get the cats to eat a little bit of garlic daily. They are unimpressed with the apple cider vinegar in a dish of water. I am at my wits' end. Beloved will have to keep up on the vacuuming and keeping everything really clean while I'm gone, and hopefully by the time I'm back it'll be well under control.

Now it's time to go finish organizing my gear and putting away my clothing and figuring out what I'm going to want to wear on the trip. And then running a bajillion errands. Love and kisses!

So it's one of those days, today. Yesterday, too.

I haven't had a shower since Saturday morning, when I took one at James' parents' house before Michelle's wedding. (Oh, and I'll say more on that later..)

I worked Sunday, early in the morning, and went home with James afterward, as I often do. Caught the early ferry back, before he had to go to work, as I also often do. Especially since I don't normally have to work until 4pm, if at all, on a Monday.

I thought I would hang out with my friend Steven for a while, have some tea and whatnot, and then come home in time to grab a shower before work. I even made it home by about one thirty, and I don't have to leave until three to get to work and all, so I was good, everything was fabulous and amazing and the day was going smashingly... Until I walked in to discover my brother in the shower and a load of laundry in the wash, and the water heater having a failure. It needed to be reset again (it does this thing periodically) and so there was no hot water for me before I had to leave. NONE.

No shower. Alright, whatever, what's one more day with my hair dirty (Eugh, really, but there wasn't much of a choice and it was only one day past due, I can live!) and a short three-hour shift at work, who cares. Debated a shower last night and decided I was too tired and didn't want to end up sleeping on wet hair.

This morning, I get up and instead of getting directly into the shower, I decide I'm gonna dink around online for a while. Bright, no? I am now really gross, feeling grody and just generally BLEAH, and without a shower... because Mom got up and had a quick shower and then started the dishwasher. And about twenty or so minutes into the cycle I go "waaaaiiiiit. She just started the dishwasher, didn't she. FUCK." Too far into the cycle to stop it, too long of a wait for it to finish and the water to re-heat. I'm screwed! Thank god I don't have to work today or I'd be in tears of frustration. Almost am already, and I can feel the childish fit of "FINE! WHATEVER I DIDN'T NEED THAT ANYWAY D<" coming on.

I'm so tired, and I can't figure out why today. I'm frustrated because things aren't going my way, and feeling whiny and childish. Maybe a good, long, hot shower would help improve my outlook, but I haven't gotten one yet and probably won't for a while. I wanna shower and get dressed. D=

And then DO STUFF. Before Em calls at about five my time, when she's free, cause we'll be on the phone for hours (we always are) and I probably won't get much done. And she's about the only person I wanna talk to. My want-to-talk list is getting shorter and shorter, as well as periodically changing without notice.


Anyway, I mentioned Michelle's wedding.. My boyfriend has a new brother-in-law now! <3 It was awesome and adorable and made me full of squee and emotional. Though it also brought something home that I hadn't much thought about. Every girl (every normal girl, perhaps? every hopeless romantic, male or female? Whatever the case..) has dreams about getting married. I am certainly no exception, and it's one of my pastimes to curl up and make up fantasy stories of all varieties... but for once I actually stopped to consider the very real possibility of myself getting married, and to look at it from a realistic point of view rather than that of a giddy and hopeless romantic.

I found myself thinking "You know.. someday." but that day is as far off as the Someday of my having children. It's a possibility, but not one I really ought to be worrying my pretty little head about right now. And I realised that I am very much not actually ready for something like that, much though I might wish to think I am. I'm not ready for that kind of a binding commitment to someone, a lover or a child to bear.. It's not time yet.

They kept teasing us, saying we should just have three weddings all at once, Michelle and Ashley, Jeremy and his Michelle (James' brother and his fiancee), and James and I.. It made me giggle and stammer a lot, but it really made me think, too. Plus, my mother has been making remarks.. Lord, of all people to be commenting on it! She got all weepy over a commercial the other day because it got her thinking about her 'baby girl' possibly getting married. -My- mother! I'm trying to decide if everyone around me is actually starting to lose it, or if it's really just THAT obvious how much I adore this man. *chuckle.*

Nonetheless, that day is far off, and the much more real probability of my moving in with him is looming in the near future enough to wrack my nerves already. So many things are going to be happening this summer, and so much to think about and plan for over the next year or so. It's a little crazy.

Anyway, I've gotta go see about getting things done and getting that shower soon.

Gah! Life, it gets so complicated when you have bills and are BARELY SQUEAKING BY. Dx

Or, occasionally, not even that. The rent check bounced (because I had checked the account, and the landlord hadn't cashed it yet! So I paid part of my phone bill knowing that I got paid and could deposit my paycheck the next morning. Need to see about this direct deposit thing.) and I paid a $25 dollar bounce fee, and am cringing as I wait for it to become dangerously close to that again.

Especially if LJ renews. Then I'm screwed. I'd be alright if I hadn't paid my roomie back immediately, or.. Well, if I hadn't gone out yesterday and spent some of that sweet money I had. That might have been better. As it is, after rent and before LJ's renew fee, I've got a total of about eight dollars in my bank. (ETA: Since my card numbers changed since LJ last had them, there will be no renewal until I get my next paycheck. Say byebye to my shiny paid account privleges for a while!)

Joy. And no way to get any extra until at least the weekend, unless I can beg Jess to loan me some of what I just gave her back. e.e;


On the other end of things, outside of finances, I'm doing incredibly well. Though there is a heartbroken and sick Jess to take care of, most of my friends seem to be in good, or at least better, places this holiday season.

I'm looking forward to a real holiday, though I may have no presents for anyone (and that's tough, for me.. I really want to have gifts for my boyfriend's family this year, and it just isn't feasible on my budget) at least I will have a family to spend it with.

Dear god, I am really and truly serious about this. About him. He still makes me smile. His family is incredible, and accepts me and likes me. My mom likes him, (and that's a first!) enough to allow him to stay over every now and again. I plan on not taking too much advantage of her generousity, though. =] It's a hard-earned privilege, but one only to be used in dire circumstances. =P

In any case, I'm starting to contemplate what it would be like, could be like, living with him. And alternating between completely content with everything after a weekend with him, and vaguely lonely because I'm so far away again. This kind of sucks.


I've forgotten what else I was going to say, having gotten a sleepy Jess on me and many other distractions since beginning this. I had to shower, for I have a somewhat unexpected work night tonight.. and oh, the joy that will be had when I tell my boss that she can't really switch up my schedule anymore because I've given availability to my second job in order to make enough money to get by.

Which will only help after a few weeks, when I actually start bringing in two paychecks. =D

Anyways, time to get dressed and brush my hair, and get all off to work now.

Uggghhhh.

Two loads of laundry that need done in HOT water, and dry, and everything, before five pm. And I need a shower too, cause it's been three days and I feel like the grossest thing to have ever crawled out from under a rock. x.x

Ayame darling has been in the shower for forty minutes (and still going!), so there is no hot water, and I'm gonna need to wait an extra hour after she's out to even start this. I pray to god I can get this all done in time for 'Kaasan to get home.

Plus I have to figure out how Aaya is getting her transportation to my lovely's apartment where she's crashing briefly (because my 'Kaasan has her rules, and they don't change..) until we get her an apartment.


I now understand why everyone got crabby with me when I took forty-five-minute showers. Especially when there were other things to do. *Sigh.*

Oh well. I suppose I deserve it. What goes around, comes around.

Back to the other things I can be doing while I wait, I suppose. <3

I have just lost all the phone numbers on my cell phone. A bad software update wiped everything. Text history, notes, numbers, pictures. They gave me a new phone, and it's.. as empty as the last one after wipe.

If I had your number, or you want me to have your number, post a comment (they'll be screened). Please and thank you.

Phone, you suck so hard.

That is all. I need to go cuddle my boyfriend and watch some anime and not freak out. Work tomorrow, bright and early. Ugh.

Seattle, wtf. The gods are playing silly buggers lately. (Thunder rolled. It rolled a six.)

Chill and rainy again today. Not that, yanno, as it's Seattle, I expected much different. But a girl can hope, right?

And on top of that, Niisan's plans to visit were thrown for a loop when I discovered that one of my coworkers had already requested that entire week off on vacation. D'oh.

So he had to go in circles to reschedule his trip, and as soon as we got it figured out I put in my own request for some time off.

Nothing else had better go wrong. D<

Time for me to get to work now. Ja matta, Minna-san!

Let's see here.

Things I forgot from con babble: KK's friend's are like GOLDFISH. ATTENTION SPAN OF A GOLDFISH.

"We'll just go wait in line for the cosplay contest, right? YEAH. OKAY!" ...ten minutes later... "I'm bored. Wanna go see what else is going on?" "OKAY 8D WE GO BUHBYE NAO." *Facepalm.* Cue me puttering along after them and grumbling about goldfish attention spans.

We were in the line for the dance for all of about two minutes.


And on to post-con awesomeness now...

Hehe, I'm stalking James-san. Kidding, kidding.

*Five minutes of IM chatting later...*

OH MY GOD. THEY KEEP GETTING OLDER.

But I bet he's not a virgin... I would hope, anyways. *Stares.* Twenty-nine? TWENTY. NINE.

Holy shit. Not that age matters to me, and all, just... Ten years. Wow. I never would have guessed.

Anyways. My current fandom obsession is now DEATH NOTE.

HEART! I -just- met Mello and Near, and OMG Mello is a nutcase! Near is like a miniature blond version of L! SO CUTE. *SPOILER* made me want to scream and flail. I want *SPOILER*!

L IS LOVE. WHY???

I have got to go and mow the lawn before potential work today. Love!

*Runs off in a hurry.*


ETA: Rain, so no lawnmowing. Plus, DAY OFF. YEY. ...I'mma go play DDR dressed like Misa now. =D

Er. As soon as Roommate-chan goes to work and stops napping on the couch, that is.

Wow, it's been a while. Plus, that last post was not a good one to stop posting with. xD; Oops.

So much stuff is going on. I'm working CRAZY this week and next and the week after that, with today being my major off day. I don't get more time off until the weekend of SakuraCon.

I'm sick. This stupid cold finally kicked my ass, but I'm gonna do everything in my power to kick it to the curb and get on with stuff ASAP. I -refuse- to be sick by the time con comes around. Just, no. I'm popping megadoses of immunoboosters and such like, I'm getting a little exercise today, and a lotta sleep, and I'm gonna be mostly off the internet for the next few weeks.

Not to mention I've gotten a lot fed up with all the people I know on Yahoo, and I've decided that I'm only up for talking to a very select few of them. Only the ones I like enough. I talk to Max on the phone a lot, so I don't need to be at the computer for him. Niisan doesn't -require- computer time either, so it's mostly Zee and Kel that I'm online for at this point.

With occasional appearances from Nikki and Rari, and if Jas would ever be online...

I'm up for RP, but not for RL crap, mostly.

On the RP side of news, I have two Original characters from the Firefly universe. ♥ One of them is an Independent soldier, and the other is an Alliance soldier. They're from different timelines, though.

I guess that's the main update. Things are otherwise pretty normal.

We had the_shoshanna visit for a week, of which I did not get to see her much because I was working. We had a bunch of the Seattle-area people come over on Saturday for a potluck, which I missed a large portion of. Between working all day (until six, plus an hour on the bus) and it being my love's birthday, I didn't do much interacting until he'd gone to bed, by which point it was about nine and people were starting to head out.

I think I'm going to get dressed and take a walk to the store, see if I can find any more Kick-Ass Immune, and pick up some NyQuil and tissues. Then, I plan on curling up with some of the manga I've been too lazy to read, and getting some rest. Or I might curl up with the Serenity RPG guide and finish flushing out some character stuff.

ob·ses·sion [uhb-sesh-uhn]
–noun
1. the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.
2. the idea, image, desire, feeling, etc., itself.
3. the state of being obsessed.
4. the act of obsessing.

And with that, here I am... six in the morning... STILL AWAKE... because there was Labyrinth fiction.

And I am, admittedly, obsessed.

Christ. Thank god I don't have to work tom-- Today.

I can't even work on my own story. I need sleep so badly, but I'm utterly caught in this itching insomnia. I want to sleep, but I don't want to spend all day sleeping and if I go to bed -now-? Let me see, only eight hours sleep still has me waking up at two in the afternoon.

Which leaves me feeling useless and slovenly, especially when I have to get up Saturday morning for work, and god that's going to suck.

Feh. I'll take a nap now, or something. Somebody better wake me up tomorrow. =/