Best to be the Changing Water

Two new story posts over at inthe_dreaming for your perusal, if you are so inclined! Constructive criticism and any sort of commentary are always appreciated, but never required. I'm always happy to hear whether you liked it or not, though, and if you can articulate the reason you did or did not enjoy it, I'd love to know that as well.

First we have Dreams in Wonderland, which is a short prose-style scribble inspired by a combination of my new muse and S.J. Tucker's newest album. Short, sweet, and just a little mad.

Second, a possibly-unfinished piece of work, thoroughly inspired by my new muse. Wild Travelers is a bit of love for an artistic, bohemian lifestyle that I only get to share in small glimpses of in my real life.

Enjoy!


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And on a separate note, there are starving artists out there who need feeding. Please, even if you don't donate money, non-perishable goods or a good hot meal are always appreciated, and sometimes you can meet some amazing people by offering them a nice, hot meal somewhere.

Also, people who abandon a half can of Pringles and most of a box of raspberry filled donuts on a table at a college for hours and hours confuse me. But that's okay, because now I have a half can of Pringles and some delicious poison donuts to munch on. *Shrug.* Their loss, my delicious gain! Nomnomnom. (If I die of anthrax donuts, play Tainted Donuts at my funeral, plz kthx.)

ALSO. SCHOOL. YEY. I HAS IT. I am so freaking happy after a day of wandering around the campus. My shoulder hurts from hauling new books around (I knew I should have grabbed my backpack instead) but I wrote stuff (Wild Travelers was all done today between Self Defense class and Ceramics, as was another train-of-thought scribble which won't be shared) and did some photosynthesis in the sun and called a new and dear friend up just to chat.

I'm gonna love ceramics. I can tell already. I'm gonna love all my classes except maybe the online one. This makes me so happy.

So it's one of those days, today. Yesterday, too.

I haven't had a shower since Saturday morning, when I took one at James' parents' house before Michelle's wedding. (Oh, and I'll say more on that later..)

I worked Sunday, early in the morning, and went home with James afterward, as I often do. Caught the early ferry back, before he had to go to work, as I also often do. Especially since I don't normally have to work until 4pm, if at all, on a Monday.

I thought I would hang out with my friend Steven for a while, have some tea and whatnot, and then come home in time to grab a shower before work. I even made it home by about one thirty, and I don't have to leave until three to get to work and all, so I was good, everything was fabulous and amazing and the day was going smashingly... Until I walked in to discover my brother in the shower and a load of laundry in the wash, and the water heater having a failure. It needed to be reset again (it does this thing periodically) and so there was no hot water for me before I had to leave. NONE.

No shower. Alright, whatever, what's one more day with my hair dirty (Eugh, really, but there wasn't much of a choice and it was only one day past due, I can live!) and a short three-hour shift at work, who cares. Debated a shower last night and decided I was too tired and didn't want to end up sleeping on wet hair.

This morning, I get up and instead of getting directly into the shower, I decide I'm gonna dink around online for a while. Bright, no? I am now really gross, feeling grody and just generally BLEAH, and without a shower... because Mom got up and had a quick shower and then started the dishwasher. And about twenty or so minutes into the cycle I go "waaaaiiiiit. She just started the dishwasher, didn't she. FUCK." Too far into the cycle to stop it, too long of a wait for it to finish and the water to re-heat. I'm screwed! Thank god I don't have to work today or I'd be in tears of frustration. Almost am already, and I can feel the childish fit of "FINE! WHATEVER I DIDN'T NEED THAT ANYWAY D<" coming on.

I'm so tired, and I can't figure out why today. I'm frustrated because things aren't going my way, and feeling whiny and childish. Maybe a good, long, hot shower would help improve my outlook, but I haven't gotten one yet and probably won't for a while. I wanna shower and get dressed. D=

And then DO STUFF. Before Em calls at about five my time, when she's free, cause we'll be on the phone for hours (we always are) and I probably won't get much done. And she's about the only person I wanna talk to. My want-to-talk list is getting shorter and shorter, as well as periodically changing without notice.


Anyway, I mentioned Michelle's wedding.. My boyfriend has a new brother-in-law now! <3 It was awesome and adorable and made me full of squee and emotional. Though it also brought something home that I hadn't much thought about. Every girl (every normal girl, perhaps? every hopeless romantic, male or female? Whatever the case..) has dreams about getting married. I am certainly no exception, and it's one of my pastimes to curl up and make up fantasy stories of all varieties... but for once I actually stopped to consider the very real possibility of myself getting married, and to look at it from a realistic point of view rather than that of a giddy and hopeless romantic.

I found myself thinking "You know.. someday." but that day is as far off as the Someday of my having children. It's a possibility, but not one I really ought to be worrying my pretty little head about right now. And I realised that I am very much not actually ready for something like that, much though I might wish to think I am. I'm not ready for that kind of a binding commitment to someone, a lover or a child to bear.. It's not time yet.

They kept teasing us, saying we should just have three weddings all at once, Michelle and Ashley, Jeremy and his Michelle (James' brother and his fiancee), and James and I.. It made me giggle and stammer a lot, but it really made me think, too. Plus, my mother has been making remarks.. Lord, of all people to be commenting on it! She got all weepy over a commercial the other day because it got her thinking about her 'baby girl' possibly getting married. -My- mother! I'm trying to decide if everyone around me is actually starting to lose it, or if it's really just THAT obvious how much I adore this man. *chuckle.*

Nonetheless, that day is far off, and the much more real probability of my moving in with him is looming in the near future enough to wrack my nerves already. So many things are going to be happening this summer, and so much to think about and plan for over the next year or so. It's a little crazy.

Anyway, I've gotta go see about getting things done and getting that shower soon.

compos_dementis. Hmmm. Let's see how bad I've been. XD


1. You must answer either yes or no.
2. You must not explain unless someone asks you to.
( Clicky. )

Well that was an entertaining look at my life. Feel free to inquire.

Okay, time for a real update! 'Cause I know y'all haven't had one in a looong time. I've been too busy and stressed to keep everyone else abreast of my goings-on.

( Because this got crazy long... )

So, anyway. Chores call to be done, and the cat needs loving, and plans need making. So, I will hopefully be posting a little more often after this gigantic update.

See y'all soon!

So I had a fabulous week and a half, though it went by faster than I thought it would.

However, today being my first day back at work, it would have sucked slightly even if I hadn't been crazy mad ill all day.

Which I was.

Stomach pain and nausea, then a headache and probable fever, and I was dizzy and felt like someone was stuffing cotton into my head. Total suck.

Especially because I still worked my full nine hour shift today, despite feeling like absolute crap.

And still do, thus I'm going to go curl up with a package of saltines, my glass of ginger ale, and my book for an hour or so before sleeping.

Great. Big. Fucking. Sign.


I don't get it. I really, really don't get it.


"So, you know when you kissed me goodnight last week...? Well... that was kinda my first kiss with a girl."


My brain: "Ahahahahaha.. wait. You're serious?" AND "Ahahahaha, so what, you've only ever kissed guys before? 8D"

And then: "Waitasecond. So that means you're a... Oh fuck."


What came out my mouth: "Haha, really? ..You're so oddly sheltered. It's kind of cute. n.n;"


Now: "NOT. A. FUCKING. CHERRY. CHASER. No. Just.. wtf? Universe. You must hate me. Do I have a GREAT BIG FUCKING SIGN OVER MY HEAD?!?"

Universe: "Why yes. It says 'I Fuck Virgins' in big glowing neon flashy letters. Why do you ask? It's just next to the one that says 'I talk to crazy people'. Have fun with your life!"

*Headdesk.*

Plus side: He's cute, sweet, geeky, reasonably open-minded, and incredibly bright. Now the big question: What sort of crazy is he? =D

Tune in another time for the answer. As soon as I find out. e.e

But for now, it's bedtime. Cause I've gotta work tomorrow.

I mow the lawn, I have a Mike's hard lemonade lime.

I think about my father.

Somehow I'm left with an odd craving for a cold bottle of Corona, despite the fact that I hate beer. I'm half hick, what can I say?

( Time for an autobiographical story, guys! )

( Cut for length: Zee and I have a serious heart to heart, via YIM. )

It feels really really nice to have someone confirm that I really am helping. That I matter, on a personal level. Because for all the crazybeans that she is, I love this woman to pieces. I do not want to have her crazy children, I do not want to have a romantic relationship with her (she's far more needy than I could deal with as a girlfriend), none of that. I just want to treat her the way I think she deserves to be treated; much better than she has been. And I just want to love her and be there for her, as long as she needs me.

I'm proud of both of us, really. She's been so broken, and been through so much... and she's finally getting better. And I'm.. I'm helping her. I really, truly am. Simply by being there, I'm helping. It makes me so happy...

*Contently smiles, and drifts off to catch the sleep she needs before work tomorrow.*

WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~

LAWL.

I am SO WIRED right now! I came back for the night, cutting the dancing short for the evening, because I figured crash time was a good thing, and I had a ride.

But I so didn't wanna leave the rave! And up until... just now... I was VERY AWAKE.

I thinks I'm sleepy now. Bedtime!!

LOVE YOU ALLLLLL!

Note to self: Find and add Kada and Yazoo to stalk-list (friends)!


OH YAH. I BOUGHT YAOI AND A CORSET TODAY. 8D

K, done. ♥!!

No no no no! I will -not- play WoW!

Not even if I can make a character of Jareth.

NO!

*Whimpers and curls into a little ball on the kitchen floor.*

Someone save me from the peer pressure! Sasdkfhaks! Dx