Best to be the Changing Water

Much is right in my world.

An evening spent relaxing does wonders, don't you think?

KK came and met me at work, spent a few hours curled in the corner conversing with me and a few of my customers even, and then took me home.

We went by the store, picked up things for dinner.

Came home, and we made a lovely steak dinner, with steamed broccoli and cheap betty crocker potatoes au gratin from a box. A glass of wine, cut with juice, for each of us.

And then we curled up on the couch and watched Treasure Planet until we fell asleep there, and stayed asleep there all night.

It was just... incredible. No stressing, no nothing. No worries about getting up this morning, because we both have the day off. No interruptions from 'Kaasan or the Child, as they're on a field trip this week. We've been listening to s00j's music all morning. <3

My life seems to be settling into a comfortable happiness. Niisan is coming to visit soon (nine days! Eeeeeee!) and spending a whole ten days here, eight of which I have guaranteed off. It'll be incredibly fun to spend so much time with him, and we can wander around the city and just.. be. As well as laze about a bit together, have some fun in his hotel, and such like. x3

I've finally found someone who understands most clearly, who is truly an adult about the relationship we have, though how long that will last I'm unsure, but I do truly care.

I'll take every day as it comes. He loves me, and I... yes, I love him as well, though I've not the courage to say so to him. He smiles and is understanding, and speaks his mind more often than not. He is honest and sweet, and I am thoroughly twitterpated. He doesn't mind that I am open with my heart, that I love easily and many.

He makes me want to turn and run, sometimes, when he speaks his mind and says he's so enamored of me, says he doesn't want to let me go and will never want anyone but me. It makes me pull inside myself when I'd rather open up. It scares me, and makes me want to run away, hide my heart and not ever let anyone find me and who I truly am, not ever. Because I'm so afraid to hurt him later on, so scared to reach that point where my fear of commitment takes over and I trash everything out of a panicked, irrational fear.

I'm already seeing the edges of it, here. So I'll close my eyes and breathe, and take every day as it comes to me. Enjoy the time with him. Communicate my hopes, dreams, fears, open my heart to him the way he has opened his to me, and maybe learn to trust again.

Back to the happy, I have four days in a row off this weekend, and so KK and I are going to clean the kitchen and shower and then run around town today. We'll meet up with Kaiba-san and her boyfriend to wander the waterfront tomorrow, and possibly James when he's off work as well.

And then Saturday is a date day, James and I are going to the zoo together. x3

Sunday, I've no idea yet. Maybe just another day to relax before I work all of next week. We shall see.

I'm happier than I've been in a long, long time.

Which I will apparently post about later?

Cause, like, I just looked at the clock.

Well, okay. Here's the big thing: The apocalypse is coming. Run for the hills.

My bio-father called me up... To chat. To try to bond with me. xD Hell, I'm not gonna complain. I've been waiting for him to decide to try to be something even vaguely resembling a father for -years-. I'm not much up for making the effort to do the same in return, not just yet, but it is nice to think that he actually wants to be around.

Course, this may be largely because he just turned forty, and realised he's old and has done nothing terribly good with his life so far. Or.. I dunno. Something.

Pssshhh, it's late. And I'm all Shigure and rambling on.

In a great mood, though. It's a wonder what a call from your best friend, a call from your absent biological father, a couple episodes of good television with the household, and tickling your roommate until she falls off the couch can do for you.

Not to mention the extended pause of the television for an outbreak of "I'm coverin' up my head!" and various other Boot to the Head jokes that had KK and I laughing so hard we couldn't breathe. Or stop. ( The video that inspired it all... )

Oh, and the part where I feel really really loved, that's kind of on the awesome scale too.

So we'll disregard the having to be up at some godawful early hour this morning, and the foul stench that emanated from the rear of the bus and WENT UNINVESTIGATED on the way home, and recall that there was pirate music again, and wonderful fog that covered everything on my way out this morning, and my day just kind of rocked.

YAY.